Freeze Flame Productions Inc

Saturday, January 23, 2010

2000-2009: Decade of Development


Previously on 2000-2009:
I had recently returned from my First Christmas with my birth Mother, in a land Far far away...
I came back to a temp job that didn't last, I hurt myself pretty badly while working too hard.

In January 2003, I still had a job, not a real one.. I was technically a Temp, and at the time it was paying me weekly and fairly well. It definitely wasn't what I wanted to do for the long term. As stated before, I had been accepted into a school for the March Term.

I had already been preparing for this educational journey for well over a year at this point, meeting with people to ask for Reference letters and what not, getting transcripts and essays prepared of the school to determine my ability to be successful in my studies.

Due to my Christmas trip, I had postponed my interview with the administrator until January. About 3 weeks later than the original meeting. So when I contacted him to confirm my meeting time, it sent him into a scramble to give me a new time? Not sure why, I thought it was set.

Turns out, that my entire application package had been "Misplaced" shortly after I rescheduled my meeting time. This meant I had to redo many of these items, but not all. It also meant that when I started school I was not on any of the attendance lists.

The purpose of my moving out of my family home was to get into a new head space for myself to focus on my studies and do well. Some other reasons, to disappear and dissociate myself with many negative people that were in my life against my will at that point in my life. Namely, an ex-girlfriend that I won't mention much more. This relocation helped, for awhile... But in February she started calling again. She was having trouble at home with her family, I wasn't with her anymore and had no plans to be, but I decided to try and help. I was able to get her into an abused woman's shelter in Hamilton, ON. My thinking was that if she was far enough away from her family it might give her some chance at a life on her own, and to learn some kind of independence. She Thought I lived in Toronto, so I didn't have to worry too much about seeing her very often.

In March 2003, I started an intense schedule at a place called Harris Institute for the Arts. I didn't know what I got myself into, I had 19 classes every week, projects and papers and practical work assignments, but I couldn't get enough of it. It completely took over my life, like an escape from everything else that was going on around me.

I really got lucky too because I was able to get a grant from the Metis Nation of Ontario, that allowed me to totally focus on my school without the distraction of having to work a Full Time job on top of my workload. I lived in Hamilton, and went to school in Toronto, everyday. I caught the GO Train in Hamilton at about 530am each morning, and if I was lucky I would get home about 10pm each night. As spring time approached, I decided it might be easier for me to live in the city I was in everyday, so I moved back into Toronto which was probably the first time since High School.

I Started my Second Term after a 2 week break in early July 2003, my Schedule was much different, I didn't started classes until almost noon most days, and was there until nearly 9pm, so the move was a good one for me. I also landed a volunteer internship at Toronto's Aboriginal radio Station, assisting the Technical Director. This lasted most of the semester until my exams started. I was able to meet many artists and figure heads in North American Native media, and learned quite a bit from the people I worked with as well.

After a very busy summer, I was in a good state of mind and working hard towards good things in the industry. I had an artist on my own roster, I was managing him and we worked together to get to a place where we were competitive. All around School was a very positive experience for me, it got me away from many negative aspects of my life, as long as I was busy.

I the late summer, trouble came crawling back, and started interfering with my progress, and for this I was very resentful... But also blind, as my EX, had introduced me to my NEXT.....

My Next Girlfriend really complicated things for both of our lives, not that I didn't have anything to do with it, I mean she was married, and she also had a young son. I was in school, not really making any money and living in a rooming house. I was looking forward into my future, and she was looking forward to holding people back from their happiness and success because she was miserable in her situation. This is what I may have been blind to at the time, I saw an old friendship that was progressing into something more. More of what?

That Third and Final Term was a difficult time for me, both because I knew I was doing well, and had to keep that up, but I now had half a dozen outside distractions, I hadn't had much time off in that year, no real income as well. I decided to move again, into my own apartment closer to downtown where the school was. I moved between terms, this would have been late October, or early November 2003. Very fast Approaching winter, lucky for me I had no heat in my place...

There were a couple major disappointments in the final term that made me lose some focus, as well as hope. There was a major Marketing Project that was supposed to be presented to a number of investors, really, and eventually it was made an optional assignment. That disappointed me because I had made a big plan, and that was my time to shine.

Not really a disappointment, but a little for me... my artist, and the producer I had introduced him to decided to head to the Phillipines after the term was finished, I had the option to go... and I missed out because I chose the girl I was with, (bad idea)...

When the New Year rolled around January 2004, I was back into it. I through myself into the work as much as possible to avoid just about everything I didn't want to think about. I did very well, past everything the First time, and was looking forward to being done School. Near the end of the Final term, I was struck with some bad news, my grandmother in Edmonton was dying, and going fast. My last presentation was near the end of March 2004, so that same week I booked a flight out of Toronto to Edmonton. I was able to talk to her once more over the phone, but she was gone a few hours before I arrived.

I attended the memorial as she was cremated, but I never saw her again. I was the only member of my immediate family to attend, I thought it was my responsibility to do so, as other couldn't make it for a variety of reasons....

TO BE CONTINUED ..... Q2 2004

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