Part 24: R U Still Down? Join the Club
My release date landed right before summer 1997, my old friends were glad to see me, but used almost an excuse to party, so the celebrations lasted quite a while... By the time I had finished school for the year, and made the move to Hamilton, I had fallen back into my old ways, and almost felt as if I had never left other than the change in demographic and the turn over in people...
Many people that I had known, were gone, and replaced just as quickly... There was a few of what I considered new friends that resented my presence because I had been gone so long, that they thought I was the new guy...
As summer hit, parties hit harder... As my living situation ran on thin ice, I found myself in transit most days and nights, either on the way to a party or coming from one... It was tiring, and after awhile I realized I was falling into a trap of self destruction(again) and if I didn't find a way out soon... I may end up right back where I had just returned from...
As we ran out of houses to party at, the parties migrated to hotels, and overnight raves... Many of which I enjoyed, but didn't do the necessary drugs to allow me to stay up throughout the entire party...
It was late in the summer, when I caught a beat down... Courtesy of some old friends, set up by some other old friends... I never really got to figure out who did set it up, but it immediately changed the dynamic of the group.... Everybody was watching their back, waiting for me to retaliate...
With everybody suspicious and paranoid, and continuously doing more drugs... that paranoia was growing more than average. The act was wearing thin for me, I was wearing out my welcome on friend's couches which is only natural... But the whole situation was deteriorating quickly and I was facing much of the blame... this lead to many disagreements and eventually a major falling out...
By the end of the year, I realized I needed a serious change... My probation officer was more willing to help after a real sit down discussion about my situation and what not. I was kicked out of my friend's place, and found myself without a place to live, and had to resort to staying in homeless shelters for a time while my P.O. adjusted my order in order to make it easier for me to have an apartment, a job, etc...
After spending an unsuccessful semester trying to get back into school, and being kicked out all over the city... of schools, and homes, and even homeless shelters... By this time I was already 18 years old, and the youth shelter allowed ages 16-25, but younger had the priority...
It was amazing to me that the shelter was constantly full, disappointing to me that I was forced to leave more often than I could stay... Covenant House was the only youth shelter that I knew of at the time that would allow a youth with a criminal record to stay, but on my final night at the shelter, I was awaken from my bed, and made to leave in order to make room for a younger person...
They gave me tokens for transportation, and directions to another shelter that would allow me to stay... it wasn't far, so I walked. In the middle of the night, I was kicked out of a homeless shelter, and sent to another... The new place, didn't have any sheets or blankets... I stayed, used my bag as a pillow, tried to sleep in my clothes...
The next day, I signed out and left and never went back to that place or Covenant House. I had simultaneously been enrolled in a work-at-your-own-pace type of alternative school as I attempted to get through High School... What made the situation more complicated was that the school was in Mississauga, and the shelter in Downtown Toronto... in order to get to school by 8am, I had to leave the shelter by at least 6am... this was a drain. By the time I arrived at the school I was too tired to be productive...
It was the New Year 1998, before things started to change. I decided to leave my old neighbourhood behind in pursuit of greater ventures... I was hired into a Non-Union Construction job for a time, and soon after enrolled in a fresh school for a new semester...
The job, brought a vehicle into the picture.. School brought new friends into the picture, the combination brought new women into my life, and renewed my interests in my master plan(s)...
With the job, I was able to finally get my own place to live and not have to rely on others, because that just didn't seem to work. My PO was also fortunately able to alter my order, after months of trying to, I was able to communicate with my family once again... I no longer had to divulge every bit of my legal information to employers, schools, landlords, etc... without being asked for it first.
The new settings, with new friends, brought many new adventures... I was the driver, and although my days were full, my nights were very busy.... Again, like feeling I was living a double or triple life... Sleep was lacking, but I was OK with that at this point.
I figured the more busy I was, the less I would get into trouble... But with the clubs nights came problems, and more fighting than I had seen in years... I was OK with that as long as the police didn't get involved...
I spent most of the time in the drinking section, in order to avoid "collision" for no reason... as seemed to be the norm on the dance floor. The night I was discovered to be carrying a fake ID, was a serious night... I was dragged down the hall by at least four bouncers... they kicked my ass in the back room until the cops showed up, then they threw me in the alley way for the cops to deal with...
The first cop hit me over the head, and the next thing I remember is waking up in a GO Station parking lot getting beat up again by police, he said I called him a PIG, whatever... I just knew I got my ass kicked about three times before they took me to the police station...
After being charged with Breaching my probation, I spent the rest of the night in the holding cells, "cooling off." Later, as the club let out for the night, the police were called to a nearby coffee shop due to a brawl that broke out inside, a very bloody one, caused by a sugar dispenser... they let me out of the car in the parking lot and told me to go home...
As much as I wanted change & now having an adult charge to deal with, in Burlington, ON... of all places. I wasn't impressed, but took it as a sign... and tried to focus on different adventures while dealing with these new charges...
It was April 1998, when on the way to a party with a carload of guys, we got into an accident with a little Honda Civic running a red light, my car being an 85' Cutlass and solid steel... bounced the civic right off, almost unscathed.. just a little damage to the alignment...
We were able to drive away, after giving a accident report... The car was never the same after that... it actually became a combination of two...
After a few weeks of driving it around all fucked up.. the steering column was twisted around almost a full turn... My dad made me take it off the road, until we fixed it up... We found a very rusty car of the same model, a year older... for like $400. I stripped my car down to the frame, in order to be straightened, and the other down to the frame for the replacement parts...
By this time, new debts were accumulating rapidly... although, I was working on a regular basis, I wasn't making enough to cover debts, so again... falling back into my old ways, new ventures... I took to the streets, as quietly as possible. I did what I knew, and to make money quickly, however, I managed to keep it out of my own neighbourhood and away from people that knew me and could potentially threaten my freedom...
By the beginning of the summer, I had managed to pay down a major portion of my debt and was now enlightened to what I should have been doing in the first place... I continued to make extra money, but soon found myself in a tight spot... yet again, I fucked up this time I was arrested and held. I was taken for a bail hearing, and made bail, but my surety didn't come pick me up for a couple days...
Finding myself up on adult charges now, two sets, for the first time... I found myself regretting many things in the last year or so... Since my release, I had sworn up and down to myself, to stay out of trouble... it just seemed to follow me...
Eventually, near the end of the summer, the Breach charge was dropped on a technicality... and the Drug charges were plead down and was given a Fine to pay... I paid it as fast as possible. I really wanted to have a clear record before I entered my 20's... that left me a little less than two years...
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