Part 30: The Saga Continues... A Light a the end of the Tunnel
As, March rolled around in the spring of 1999, I was beginning to see a chance at securing some real freedom for the first time in several years, possibly in my life. I still had a few months to go on my probation, and a couple left in the school semester as well...
I had now moved away from my old neighbourhood and was focusing more intently on myself and my plans. I still had quite a few obligations, one being and order to seek treatment on my probation. I wasn't going to risk a breach on such a little detail, so I decided to take a route that I had not agreed with previously....
My choice was to reconnect with the doctor from the group home I last lived in while in Custody. He seemed like a pretty good one compared to many that I had seen over the years, I was actually able to get along with him. I asked his honest opinion and he usually gave it too... I wanted to enquire about medication to fulfill my treatment order. This would allow him to monitor it and me, as well as keep probation from asking too many questions...
To say the least, it was an adjustment. My Semester was going well, I was doing a co-op placement in the hospitality industry which meant I was only in school for a couple days a week, in the morning.. With these final credits, I would be an official High School Graduate with an option to return for another year.... At that point, Returning was the plan even though it would be my eighth year in high school...
I had taken a gym class, with a strict focus on basketball earlier that year and was invited to try out for the school team, and in the spring they were also running pre-tryouts for the following year's football team... I hadn't been involved in team sport in some years, so I thought it would be a good idea...
Sometime in April, I was actually able to land a job for the summer. I was hired to work in food service at Canada's Wonderland which was owned by Paramount at the time. I was trying very hard to keep myself as busy as possible and to make money legally in my last months of Probation. It was much more challenging that I had thought it would be, especially when the medication kicked in...
This meant, I was now having to attend probation meetings, doctors appointments to monitor the medication, training for the new job and completing my co-op hours... I had failed my Grade 12 math again, so I decided to try to take a summer school course too.... All I remember was that the beginning of the summer was really hot, and being on the new medication made the heat very hard for me to deal with.. i just couldn't stay conscious in class, or focus properly... so I decided to drop it, I didn't really need it anyway....
When My co-op hours were finally over, I had also completed my Second last Probation order... The middle of May 1999, was supposed to be the original date of my freedom-at-last, but it was delayed until November now, due to some adult case that I had caught recently...
My co-op hours finished early in June sometime, So the job bumped me up to FT as soon as I told them I was done school... and this left little time for much else outside appointments and commuting... I had to take the bus from Downtown Toronto, up To Vaughn, most days before the morning trains started even running... I had to work open til Close most days... I guess in some ways that was my first real job... and it didn't grow on me at all.
Even with free access to a theme park, I had no desire to be there after work, the medication had also made me feel very strange at times...almost, somewhat anti-social... mostly to avoid the obvious line of questioning...
As I made some really nice friends, and met tons of people, I neglected to keep in touch with many of them outside of work... to my own disappointment really, that probably would have been a really good thing for me at the time...
I pretty much kept to myself, spent my money on Cds and music magazines, and locked myself away from the world waiting out the rest of my probation... and still in the back of my mind lingered a list that I had found a year or so earlier...
The Longer I stayed indoors, the more problems I found with my apartment, Living downtown in Parkdale during heavy rainstorms, in a basement no less, brought flooding... at first it was just the shower, but after a few times, it sank half the apartment.
With my new found dampness out came the roaches. I was able to sleep, only when covered from head to toe, with my eyes covered by a folded t-shirt... I was motionless while an endless parade of roaches covered the room each night... usually having a glass of water near by, I reached over one night to take a sip only to have to spit out a couple roaches taking a dip...
I made the decision to move quickly, but that was much easier said than done... With my schedule and motivation it wasn't an easy process... A friend told me I was turning into a recluse or a hermit because of the medication and suggested that maybe it was making me paranoid... I didn't disagree...
Something, I had began to notice was that my writing that had been very regular, had almost come to a complete stop due to my inactivity... It made me start thinking about a lot of things... One thing in my mind often was: How was I going keep the topics of my writing real, if I wasn't doing dirt... Something, I couldn't believe I was thinking.
That's when I turned my attentions to another situation and re-thought my strategy in terms of getting involved in the music industry... I didn't want to take that step backwards again, in order to make more progress later... I wanted to keep moving forward by making progress now...
I still had a few months to reformulate some of my plans, and kept on the path I had set for myself in the recent months...
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