PART 7: THE WINTER OF INNOCENCE
As Winter Approached, in 1992, I more or less disappeared.... Into my own world, and my own activities. I was involved in minor hockey, as a player and being a part of that team was what I tried to do to not think about the recent loss.
It wasn't working, my crime spree had began many months before and was increasing in volume on a nightly basis... I was rather lucky as our neighborhood was surrounding by some fairly well off housing and the owners tended to go for vacation during the winter months. Once I found that out, I was on full prowl mode....
I had made a conscious choice about my drug use at the time, and because I was still involved in sports. No use in the winter months, but winter went fast.... Christmas seemed to flash by without a thought... after the funeral, I also decided that I wasn't going to cry anymore.... and by allowing myself to shut off my emotions, I think my conscience went out the window as well...
I began taking more and more risk with regards to the chances I was taking in my criminal lifestyle. I was not worried or scared to fight in the street, or be the one to cause problems.... Vandalism was easy and a good outlet for exhausting inner tensions, fighting gained me some respect, and winning made me feared... In a sense, my own, I was a leader.... to others, they may have seen me as some type of enforcer to go to when they needed back up or protection...
I learned to drive early, so instead of just breaking into cars, I started taking them.... and using them to commit other crimes.... At the height of it all, I was breaking the law every few hours.
By the time spring break rolled around, I had included people in my own activities and joined with others on theirs... when the hockey season came to a close... we had a local house to hang out in on almost a 24 hour basis, so my curfews and going home became an afterthought. I would go home to shower, and eat each day, but usually when my family was out... I would go home at night, and sneak out after everybody fell asleep.... It made the days very long, and the nights very active...
I did play summer sports, but they were much more spread out than the winter sports, and didn't take up as much time... By this time in my life, Summer 1993, everyday was a party, full of drinking and drugs, and the nights were full of crime.... a spree on my part, that was actually winding down after about 2 and a half years or so.... it had been so constant that it was even a part of my dreams...
By this time, my mind was in a constant haze of intoxication, not that there is anything wrong with that... It was how it was back then, where I was from we had about three generations that had grown up this way, and the neighborhood cops were starting to come into the mix and start to clean it up.... they started conducting evictions to some of the areas more well known suspects and residences. Leaving many houses randomly empty for the taking... we found many treasures in places like this...
It wasn't until years later that we actually noticed this cycle, the cops coming into the neighborhood became an every day thing, harassing and threatening... nightly foot chases were a regular occurrence that we became very skilled at... many of our old routes of escape, are now blocked off today... we knew how to get away from police on foot, they would give chase sometimes three or four times in one night... maybe to herd us home or something...
My sports career was winding down, little to my knowledge, but my skill was improving... as the end of the summer slowly emerged and High School started... I was still involved in quite a few of my activities, many of which even my friends didn't know about... I made the decision not to trust anybody with those details, or involved many of them to avoid both, any possibility of disloyalty and any in fighting over profits...
When my High School years started, I realized that I could get away with even more... my entire world had expanded, not just my neighborhood... I was introduced to much more risky operations, and a whole new circle of people involved in their own similar activities, many of which made mine seem pretty small. They had some serious resources at the right time...
I began another season, or winter sports and activities, so my drug use slowed to a stop over the winter months.... which may have been one of the last times I made that decision consciously... I tried to focus on school for the first semester, not knowing what to expect... I had barely made it out of elementary. Finishing school was a goal for me, but I found it hard to care about it at all after my elementary experience(s).
Once more, Winter arrived... I disappeared into the night... Into a world that I new was coming down around me, it was only a matter of time before it started catching up to me...In my Life of Dreams, extremely vivid at this time in my life.... were speaking to me, in some way showing me subtle signs as to what was ahead for me....
As Winter Approached, in 1992, I more or less disappeared.... Into my own world, and my own activities. I was involved in minor hockey, as a player and being a part of that team was what I tried to do to not think about the recent loss.
It wasn't working, my crime spree had began many months before and was increasing in volume on a nightly basis... I was rather lucky as our neighborhood was surrounding by some fairly well off housing and the owners tended to go for vacation during the winter months. Once I found that out, I was on full prowl mode....
I had made a conscious choice about my drug use at the time, and because I was still involved in sports. No use in the winter months, but winter went fast.... Christmas seemed to flash by without a thought... after the funeral, I also decided that I wasn't going to cry anymore.... and by allowing myself to shut off my emotions, I think my conscience went out the window as well...
I began taking more and more risk with regards to the chances I was taking in my criminal lifestyle. I was not worried or scared to fight in the street, or be the one to cause problems.... Vandalism was easy and a good outlet for exhausting inner tensions, fighting gained me some respect, and winning made me feared... In a sense, my own, I was a leader.... to others, they may have seen me as some type of enforcer to go to when they needed back up or protection...
I learned to drive early, so instead of just breaking into cars, I started taking them.... and using them to commit other crimes.... At the height of it all, I was breaking the law every few hours.
By the time spring break rolled around, I had included people in my own activities and joined with others on theirs... when the hockey season came to a close... we had a local house to hang out in on almost a 24 hour basis, so my curfews and going home became an afterthought. I would go home to shower, and eat each day, but usually when my family was out... I would go home at night, and sneak out after everybody fell asleep.... It made the days very long, and the nights very active...
I did play summer sports, but they were much more spread out than the winter sports, and didn't take up as much time... By this time in my life, Summer 1993, everyday was a party, full of drinking and drugs, and the nights were full of crime.... a spree on my part, that was actually winding down after about 2 and a half years or so.... it had been so constant that it was even a part of my dreams...
By this time, my mind was in a constant haze of intoxication, not that there is anything wrong with that... It was how it was back then, where I was from we had about three generations that had grown up this way, and the neighborhood cops were starting to come into the mix and start to clean it up.... they started conducting evictions to some of the areas more well known suspects and residences. Leaving many houses randomly empty for the taking... we found many treasures in places like this...
It wasn't until years later that we actually noticed this cycle, the cops coming into the neighborhood became an every day thing, harassing and threatening... nightly foot chases were a regular occurrence that we became very skilled at... many of our old routes of escape, are now blocked off today... we knew how to get away from police on foot, they would give chase sometimes three or four times in one night... maybe to herd us home or something...
My sports career was winding down, little to my knowledge, but my skill was improving... as the end of the summer slowly emerged and High School started... I was still involved in quite a few of my activities, many of which even my friends didn't know about... I made the decision not to trust anybody with those details, or involved many of them to avoid both, any possibility of disloyalty and any in fighting over profits...
When my High School years started, I realized that I could get away with even more... my entire world had expanded, not just my neighborhood... I was introduced to much more risky operations, and a whole new circle of people involved in their own similar activities, many of which made mine seem pretty small. They had some serious resources at the right time...
I began another season, or winter sports and activities, so my drug use slowed to a stop over the winter months.... which may have been one of the last times I made that decision consciously... I tried to focus on school for the first semester, not knowing what to expect... I had barely made it out of elementary. Finishing school was a goal for me, but I found it hard to care about it at all after my elementary experience(s).
Once more, Winter arrived... I disappeared into the night... Into a world that I new was coming down around me, it was only a matter of time before it started catching up to me...In my Life of Dreams, extremely vivid at this time in my life.... were speaking to me, in some way showing me subtle signs as to what was ahead for me....
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