Part 23: Mini Biography Vol. 6
Here is Volume 4 of the Auto Biography of Freeze Flame, this Volume falls in line with the previous entry, as it was a very trying time... it's musical relevance is still in tact, however, at this point in my life, all things music got put on hold while my outside life was falling apart, and I attempted to put it back together to some degree. As the Sauga continues, stay tuned for the next entries...
The AutoBiography of Freeze Flame:
Vol. 4, The Progression (Release Date)
With big plans in mind, only a few ideas of how to achieve them, many other obstacles stood in the way of young Red. First, Red's release date May 15, 1997, 12 full months to the day of his sentencing. Red was still a young offender and therefore parole did not exist and had to serve every last day of his sentence...
Earlier in the year, Red had been accepted and enrolled in a community school and was considered to be making huge strides in his own recovery and reintegration, however, with all things, progress is slow. The internal struggle to get back to a normal life, and also move forward in his was very important. Red swore to himself that he could prove everybody wrong who had doubted him over the last couple years...
Red's Musical aspirations were put on hold temporarily while he figured out his next moved. His release date also happened to be a school day, and had prepared for that in some minor ways, mainly getting all his stuff out of the house and into a place for at least some kind of storage. He had been slowly packing a series of lockers with his possessions over a period of time leading up to his release. It worked fairly well, but still had quite a load on release day, and took the rest to school the same day...
The second obstacle of Red's release was living accommodations. Although, there was a plan, that was a requirement of release, or get stuck in another group home set up for after care... The plan was to move into a friend's home in Hamilton, ON. That presented a challenge considering Red still had 6 weeks left in the semester, plus exams...
Red was intent on finishing the semester, successfully, and would do whatever necessary. With this semester completed that would put him within 5 credits of graduation, less than one full year...
The living situation was set in motion only days prior to Red's release, and was able to get temporary help from a friend in Mississauga... Where Red would live until the school year was complete. The only problem this presented was transportation, but he thought it was just a small roadblock, but do able.
Red's Probation was another hurdle to get over, or organize... They were able to delay the first meeting until the move to Hamilton, roughly scheduled for July 1997.
For Red, growing and maintaining his musical empire was a journey in itself... his initial idea was to pick his team, and give them a guide of sorts... He knew his "friends," and had a good idea of the stories they could bring to the table. What he didn't know was that they really had no interest in telling them as he did. Red's personal journey was one of survival and the stories he lived on the day to day were something he felt needed to be told in some form...
Music, writing, poetry, visual, were some thoughts in his mind, but where to start and who to choose?
Red had been writing lyrics for a few years by that point, however, not to music, so it was more poetic or spoken word style than his love, Hip Hop... However, he believed it fit. Every once in awhile when Red mentioned his plan among his group of friends, some of their notes, or stories would surface... Red was always eager to read what they had to say, their own stories and struggles with reaching their own ambitions in life....
Yet another obstacle for Red's plan was simply escaping the old neighbourhood's strangle hold on his life, it always seemed to drag him back in, or pull him back... He thought getting through the semester successfully and moving down to Hamilton would start a ripple effect of change, but again wasn't sure of what would happen.
Red was able to complete the semester, and made the move to Hamilton. Upon moving to Hamilton, he made every effort to stay positive and productive. He already got his license, but it was just a learners, so decided to look into a driving school to shorten the process of obtaining the next level. He looked for a job, but set up for failure by his first probation officer...
The transition from young offender to reformed citizen, and from city to city, and even from homeless to housed proved to be very challenging. As the new probation officer set in motion a series of events that would turn a volatile situation into a brick wall road block on the way to progress.
The P.O. noticed that Red's probation order required him to seek treatment, among other things, such as notify any and all employers of his legal situation, including details of convictions and charges... this was also true for living accommodation, the same information was supposed to be disclosed to any and all landlords, etc... this was made more difficult when Red was also told he was prohibited from living with his family...
After a few weeks of unsuccessful job search, Red's Hamilton friend gave him notice that she needed him to move out, as he was unable to pay the rent set for him, and wasn't making much progress... With that notice Red decided that he was going to go back the school that allowed him to attend, even though he was a young offender in custody.
They again allowed him to enrol based on his past year's performance. That acceptance now presented a new set of challenges that were happening already, but to find an apartment, transfer his probation back to Toronto, and figure out a way to pay for all this. Red was able to find and secure a place to live, then proceeded to tell his probation officer that he would require a transfer...
The transfer back to Toronto would require Red to inform the new landlord of his legal situation, and that is when everything fell apart.... (again)
First, it left him without a legal place to live, his parents reluctantly let him stay at their house while he went back to school initially... the transfer did not get completed, to Toronto... and eventually, ended up in Mississauga.
Second, the new arrangement with probation found out that he was living with his parents and was set to breach his conditions, unless he moved out immediately, making him instead move into a shelter... the only one of which allowed him, as a youth, was Covenant House... before this could happen, however, the school found out he was living outside the school board's district and kicked him out, among others in a sweep that found the school's population weeded down from over 3000 students, to less than half.
Now without a school, and a home, Red was back out on the street corner in his old neighbourhood, a place where he found comfort among friends, even if those friends weren't all they were cracked up to be, they still allowed him to sleep on the couch or wherever he could find a spot... Appreciative, but disappointed in only himself.
It was to late in the semester to re-enrol into a new school, so he looked for work, or made work with his friends... making money in every way they knew how.... The path he thought he left behind, but continued to be drawn back into...
Red felt, back then, that this wasn't a terrible thing... there was something deep down that made him want to live the life, but in a much more successful way than he had been shown... By this point, it was nearing the end of 1997, and the time had passed quickly since his release.
He couldn't go home, without being in school, but he soon found work, but it didn't last for lack of sleep from living nowhere most of the time... he ended up returning to his original high school, attending classes that were big enough that he wasn't noticed by the teacher because he was not enrolled as an active student.
It was nearing Christmas, and a friend's family extended an invitation to join them for Christmas Eve and Day... Red accepted and was very appreciative...
It was around this time, when Red, sat down with his Probation officer and tried to discuss the situation at hand, what he wanted to do with his life, and what was standing in the way. Somehow, he finally was able to get through to that PO behind the desk, and she began working with him to help him succeed rather than trying to set his life back in order to reoffend, after all, Red's 18th birthday had passed without a thought, and he was now an adult in the eyes of the law...
By now, many thought that Red's idea of a musical element had faded, but his dreams were more of an achievable goal, that he had set his sights on... every dollar he made was set to be used towards it, after bills and such, of course...
Red knew he could not rely on others for this, he still needed a team, but that aspect could wait, or maybe show itself down the road.... All he knew at this time, was that we wasn't in the right place in his life, and changes needed to be made, again... He constantly felt as he was starting over, and this feeling wouldn't be the last...
1997, was a very trying time for a still young Red Brown. He was glad it was coming to an end, though unsuccessful on the job front as well as the school front, he still kept hope alive for both.
Music, was the passion that burned, however, and he wouldn't stay away... his real belief thrived in his heart and mind, Hip Hop had saved his life, and he wanted it to do the same for as many people as he possibly could. That was no longer his goal, it was his mission... until his mission was acknowledged or accomplished he would not sleep, so to speak.... he had managed to stay out of trouble up til this point, and was determined to share his story with whomever would listen...
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